My Sexual Awakening.

This story prompted me to write about my sexual awakening. It probably happened much sooner than many people would think.

Mind you, I didn’t act upon it until a was 18, but it would’ve happened MUCH earlier in my life had the circumstances permitted. If I’d have had my way, I’m sure I would have lost my virginity at a ridiculously young age!

My mother was very open about sexuality with me. She started my sex education when I was about 4-5 years old. She was worried about the things I’d pick up in the school playground and didn’t want me to be misinformed. So many of my contemporaries were given stories of cabbage patches, storks, magic and had silly names for anatomical parts like “pipes” for penises. She taught me things like how impregnation takes place. So I knew when a woman was pregnant she had a baby growing in her stomach, not she was ballooning for no good reason to only be “sent” a child by a stork, or randomly “find” one in a cabbage patch!

I wasn’t banned from watching certain things on TV either. I’d watch adult oriented soap operas and drama series. By the time I was around 11, I was quite interested in the “delights of the flesh”. When I saw people acting out sensual or even sexual scenes on TV, I found it utterly intriguing and thrilling.

Perhaps it’s my Scorpio nature, but I’ve always considered myself a very sexual being. It’s by the age of 11 that I am (I do beg all of your pardons) masturbating regularly and having many sexual fantasies, particularly about older men. I think that perhaps this aspect stemmed from me growing up without my father around, although my brothers are all over 9 years older than me. I looked up to older men, be they teachers, sports stars, actors. I’ve had MANY crushes on older men. Not so much these days, as I’m so much older myself now.

Many of my sexual fantasies revolved around me being involved with older men. Even at my tender age, I found the age and experience of men over the age of 21 so compelling. I’m sure if I’d have had my way, I’d have lost my virginity at 11-12 and to a much older man. I was Lolita!

I am, with hindsight, thankful that no situation ever arose in which I had such an opportunity. I was 18 when I (Finally! In my eyes at the time) lost my virginity to a guy only one year older than me who I’d been keen on for the previous 18 months. Although the relationship went nowhere, he was just in it for “a root”, as we say in Oz, it still was a very special experience that I still can have nostalgia about. Not sure if I could have looked upon it so rose-tinted had I been younger.

Yes, We Have No Nuts, We Have No Nuts Today!

We had, for the first time that I am aware of, a squirrel in the garden earlier this week. It was aVERY rainy day, and he was getting very wet. There were no nuts out there, so I think he was just snacking on the seeds out there for the birds. I’m hoping he’ll visit again.

Here’s some grainy pics as proof of his visit.




Where Are My Tits?

I’m a keen – never leave home – twitcher. It was partly what got me through my depression in 2006. Normally, through the year we get a range of varying types of birds visit the garden. Various types of tits, blackbirds, robins, dunnocks, sparrows, wood pigeons and collared doves, even the odd greenfinch. But the one bird we get with a dizzying degree of regularity is the goldfinch.

Until now.

As of this week, I don’t think I’ve seen ONE goldfinch for about three weeks. This is just unheard of. The only bird I HAVE seen in the last few days has been a robin. Not even the doves and pigeons are hanging about.


With winter coming on and us putting food out, I should be seeing MORE of them, not LESS of them!

As I type, I can hear Mr Robin chirping his pee-d off song. Will he be the only visitor today?

Stay tuned…

Hedgehogs and Hairspray.

Watching DVD’s again. I’ve finished watching my set of Blackpool discs. It was a really good series. I think you need to have something of the Brit about you, or be Anglophilic to appreciate some of it. I can understand why Viva Laughlin (a US re-production of it made by/for CBS) failed. I found something outrageously sexy about David Morrissey’s voice in it. I loved the kitschy musical segues.

More discs arrived by post yesterday. After spending the morning doing the whole bankruptcy petition thing at the local county court, I needed some light relief. One disc to arrive was Hairspray. I’d been wanting to see it for ages. Just the mere notion of John Travolta in drag was funny enough! Oh, it was SO good. I just freaking LOVE musicals! I’m a gay man trapped in a heterosexual woman’s body!! I’d love to see it in the West End now. I’d love to see Michael Ball as Edna. Musicals are even more special when you see them in the theatre. I haven’t been to the West End for a musical for years now. Last one I saw was Cats, just before it ended its run. Maybe, just maybe for my birthday or something. Anyway, it was just the “pick me up” I needed. I LOVE the music of the show.

After watching that, I just had the TV on Big Brother. Chris was looking out the loungeroom window with something in her sight, seemingly. I suggested to Em that she might have spotted a hedgehog, so Em went outside to investigate with a torch. And lo and behold, there was a hoggy outside! He was out in the garden, rummaging around. Em went back inside to get some dog food for him, but then he slipped away under the bushes. It was lovely being able to go out into the garden to see him though, even if it was just for a fleeting glimpse. Em says there are LOADS of slugs and snails around at the moment and she keeps seeing hedgehog droppings (amazingly, very slug-like shaped poo – who’d have thought?).

That’s it for now, I’m off for another DT fix.

Goldfinch Chicks!!! ***Cuteness Alert***


As I type I can see two goldfinch chicks outside my lounge room window. About an hour ago mum and dad arrived to feed from the nyger seed feeders (goldfinches are constant, daily visitors to our garden), shortly followed by one baby. A young baby, newly fledged, still fluttering his wings, begging his mum to feed him. He sat there on the bird bath next to the feeder, flapping furiously, pleading, BEGGING his mum to feed him. In the meantime brother/sister showed up and copied what mum and dad were doing and got on the feeder next door and started to feed him/herself. All this time, baby number one was STILL begging to mum. He begged for MINUTES, then, finally, she relented and fed him!

He settled after that, and gingerly got himself onto the feeder mum and dad were on. He fluttered his wings some more, but mum was taking no notice, so he settled and finally started to feed himself.


After about 10 minutes, they all flew off. Then, about 15 minutes ago, they returned. Mum, dad and the two babies. Baby number one fluttered his wings for a few seconds, then remembered about feeding himself, got onto the feeder and chomped away. Baby number two was on the other feeder looking after himself. Then after a few minutes, mum and dad flew off and the babies stayed behind. They were out there until just after I started typing this out. They looked a bit lost at times, but kept feeding themselves. Oh, they are just too adorable.

We’ve also seen baby blue tits today as well.

I even saw a chaffinch as well! When we first moved to where we live now in 2003, we had a regular visiting pair of chaffinches. But, after a year or two, they stopped coming. So to see a chaffinch visiting again is brilliant. The visits have been fleeting so far, but I’m hoping they’ll become more frequent as the summer goes on.


And just to keep you informed, no hedgehog in the box for the last few weeks. We keep on putting food out which gets eaten, but the hog isn’t staying in the box. As for the bats…no sightings since that first night however long ago it was now…4-5 weeks ago?? But I keep a look out every night at dusk. The weather hasn’t been the best though lately, so I’m hoping the bat scene will improve from tomorrow onwards (when finer weather is due).

Photo supplied by: foxypar4 under Creative Commons license.

Good Deed For The Day.

About 12.30pm today Em and I were at home. Em was hand washing a few items of clothes in the kitchen, and I was sitting at the computer editing video. Suddenly there was a loud thud at the kitchen window. It spooked both me and Em and we both thought it must’ve been the little shitty kiddy neighbour and his football hitting the window. But there was also the possibility it might be a bird.

Em went outside to investigate. She initially saw nothing, then on a second inspection she saw a bird in the bramble underneath the kitchen window (not directly under it though, hence he was not spotted the first time). He was a baby pigeon. Still with downy feathers and all grey (no adult plumage/colouring yet). He must’ve only just fledged the nest.


He was obviously alive, but we couldn’t tell if he’d suffered any wing damage. We cleared away some of the dense bramble (really spiky stuff with vines filled with thorns) and cleared a path for him to come back out. He was quite dazed and shocked.

We spent the next 90 minutes outside keeping an eye on him, making sure no cats could get to him. The weather was starting to turn and I was worried that if he got wet he wouldn’t be able to fly. Em got a big box and I slowly made my way towards him in an attempt to catch him and put him in the box. He started to flap and got a little air-born, but only enough to get him to the neighbours fuchsia bush. We tried to coax him out from there. Eventually he ended up on the neighbours front door step. It became obvious that he hadn’t suffered any wing damage as he was beginning to use them. We stepped back and let him have some room and a minute later he took flight and landed on the neighbour opposites roof. At last he was free and recovered. I hope he stayed on safe ground.


No bats, no hog :-(

I looked around last night for the bats, but they were a no show and this morning (for the second morning running) there was no hog in the box. The food had been left also yesterday, but it was eaten last night. I’m sure while the weather is being good, he’s just exploring.

The birds are chirping away again today. This time, the ever present chirrup of the sparrows, with the odd dispersal of some other bird I can’t identify. 

I do love my wildlife.

It’s A Wild-life

The hog is still here, and on top of that, tonight saw the first appearance of the bats!!

Just a half hour ago, Em and I stepped out the front door to watch the bats whizz by our heads. One at first, then a second joined in after a few minutes. 

The wildlife of Britain is just ssssooo cool, and right by our door!

Springwatch is soon. I’m going to try and include a countdown clock, hope it works!

Photographic Proof!!!



I told you to stay tuned on hog developments. Photographic proof was requested (well, not proof as such, but pics were requested), but the last 48 hours have proved elusive for sighting Mr (or Ms) Hog.

Nothing in the box for the last 48 hours, but we had been putting food and drink out anyway. It had been taken on the previous night (food), so we were holding out hope the hoggy would return.

This morning we look in the box, and lo!!!

There Is Hog In The Box!

It seems too early, but already we have a hedgehog in our makeshift box by our front door. It’s not the biggest hog, nor is it a baby. Em wants to get some food for it, but we have more cats in our patch of wood that you can shake a stick at. But we have a set-up that hopefully means the food will only go to the little hoggy. 

Sadly Em did find a dead baby hog nearly 2 weeks ago now, on the lawn. Not sure what happened to it, whether it was an over curious cat, or perhaps even a kill by a bird of prey that was dropped in our garden (we do have birds of prey fly around our neck of the woods ‘cos we border the countryside), who knows? It’s was only the littlest baby. I hope it wasn’t the baby of the one in the box 😦

Stay tuned on hog developments.