That was a bad day the other day. I felt awful. I’m feeling much better now. Thank goodness. I’d been a bit worried about myself there. Thankfully it was just a pre-Christmas bump.Just finished the last of the online food shop. That gets delivered tomorrow. I had to scoot around the other day when Gilly took us to Letchworth to get a mock (vegetarian) turkey roll from Holland and Barrett. Flippin’ £4.25 it cost! It’ll barely feed me and Em. Just enough for both of us. I’m totally splurging on nice food this year. We had a bleak Xmas last year, so this one will be special. And we’ve got alcohol too! I got a bottle of Disaronno from Morrisons the other day (almond liqueur, like marzipan) and I’ve also got a bottle of Midori (melon liqueur) coming and a couple of packs of snowballs (advocaat mixer). Sssooo looking forward to the Doctor Who Christmas special. I’m counting down the day to Xmas by the number of days left before I get to see the special! That’s bad! I’ve got plans to go and see Australia at the cinema as well. I saw the Newsnight Review on the BBC and it was slated by Germaine Greer and other members on the review panel. It sounded SO bad, it’s good! Just a little bit of bits and bobs today. Laters…
I’m having a bad day today. I’ve hit the pre-Christmas wall. I now want Christmas over with. I just don’t have the enthusiasm and the energy for it any longer. I just want my shopping done, the stuff on TV that I want to watch now! I’m just over it.I’m having a real “2006” day. Two years ago I was going through a very deep depression. Not something I’d ever gone through before. Despite having long spells of living in poverty, I’ve always been scarily optimistic. So 2006 really came from nowhere. I just couldn’t see the point any more. But it was like that, every day, for at least 6 months. I still have those feelings on the odd day. It’s just more of a “feel sorry for myself” day now when that happens. Today is one of those days. I just want to mope. Just lay on the bed in the foetal position and forget about the world for a while. In 2006 I used to have quite big philosophical questions for myself and others. Why *are* we here? Are we meant to be here? Aren’t we just a virus invading a place that’s not rightfully ours? Why do we treat animals so inferior? Environmental conservation?! What a laugh! If we weren’t here f*cking up the earth in the first place, we wouldn’t have to be doing “conservation” work – I say, typing it into my netbook!! The world is just full of contradictions, hypocrisy and chaos. Then I think things like “What drives a person in say, DR Congo, or the Darfur region, or even Zimbabwe to continue on? What *IS* the point of it? Please, please, really tell me?
In the absolute grand scheme of things, what do we, as humans, contribute to anything? That we leave a mark (more like scar, and a deep scar at that)? That we get remembered for achievements? So, we’ve gone to the moon…SO?! What of it? Big fat hairy deal. What does it matter that I know Einstein? What did he prove? Why is it important that I know that Henry VIII lived and had six wives?What makes these things important when we still have wars, we are still animals – lesser animals than the ones we like to “lord it” over! We’re just a mutant virus. We shouldn’t even be here. Then there’s things like religion. Just do *not* get me started there. I know. It’s all very “It’s A Wonderful Life” the way I’m talking. But seriously, that movie is fantasy. What WAS so important about George Bailey’s life? Oh sure, he saves his brother’s life – who then in turn saves the lives of people in war – but his brother saved peoples lives IN WAR! I mean, FFS, we STILL have war! The human race is just ridiculous. I just don’t get stuff…I really don’t. Yes, it’s a bad day…
Here’s one of a set of Christmas photos of Chrissy in her Santa scarf and hat. She wasn’t very happy about it…Chrissy says Bah bum-hug!
Having just written out the overseas Christmas cards to send off, I got Em to take a picture of me to update on my plurk page. Here are some of the photos that ensued!This was the final one taken, and the one I chose. This one made me LITERALLY pee myself when I saw it! I had to go up stairs and change my underwear! I just kept thinking “What do *I* look like? A Chinese man?!!! Buddha!” This was a contender for the plurk page. This one I look a bit startled. The red-eye reduction light is WELL bright! This is obviously my “Christmas? Meh!” look! And bah humbug to me!! lol Hope you enjoyed that embarrassing set!
Just basic ramblings about stuff for today.We put up most of the Christmas decorations last night. We’ve got a decorated artificial 5ft tree by the lounge room window and we’ve got a dinky little 3ft fibre optic tree at the bottom of the stairs on the other side of the lounge room. We’ve got a fibre optic Father Christmas by the TV and have a nativity scene, an advent Santa and a Santa snow-globe on the gas fire mantle, and a wreath on the door. Over the weekend the fish tank needs a good cleanout. JUST in case we get guests over the festive period. Not likely, but it’ll be a nice pressie for the fishies to have a clean tank for Xmas anyway. After that, I’ll have to clean out the freezer section of the fridge, to make sure we can house the goodies over the Xmas period. On a separate note. I tried to get tickets for Hamlet today, as I’d heard there were some limited seats available from the box office for today’s performance. I lucked out sadly, but the guy on the phone said I should keep trying as some tickets do become available through the day. I will try again in a few weeks though, as I have to watch the pennies until the rent is paid. Anyway, that’s about it for now. Catch ya later.
This is my 200th post on my blog, yay! You’d have thought I’d have so much drivel in me (me!)?
Just wanted to say that I am really loving and enjoying using my Zen X-Fi. It does take a while to get used to using something new, doesn’t it? I’ve just worked out the playlist bit and now have a BIG 80’s mega-mix playlist with over 400 songs. I’ve made one of all my U2 stuff and another of all my Bowie stuff. And Em worked out how to get AAC files on there for me. It’s really, really good!Now, on to these dreams… I had a crap nights sleep really. Chris came up to bed for cuddles (she’s been doing this for the last few months). Once me and Em are both settled, she comes to my pillow and lays next to me for cuddles and smooches. She normally stays only about 10-15 minutes. Sometimes she doesn’t even come up. But over the last week, I’ve had a couple of nights where she’s outstayed her welcome, hogged my pillow and made it nigh on impossible for me to get comfortable and go to sleep. I eventually did last night, after some hours. She eventually disappeared and I finally got my pillow back in the early hours of the morning (around 5-6am). Once I was comfortable, I started to have dreams. The first one was about James May (yes, the bloke from Top Gear!). I dreamt I had a thing for him, we met up, he was driving me around in a car and I was flirting with him! I came round from that dream thinking “that was a bit weird, but kinda cool. James is alright!” I went back to sleep and had a Doctor Who themed dream then. Not too deeply DT’ed, but I saw enough of him 🙂 It more centred around John Barrowman’s character, Jack Harkness and how he came to be the “Face of Bow”. Very strange for me to dream something so plot-heavy. But it was cool. I didn’t have any other dreams after that and still feel VERY tired. Might need to have an early night tonight. I’m planning to fill my 1GB SD card with 101 Christmas songs and play them on my Zen in shuffle mode tonight! LOVING using the shuffle mode with my playlists! L8rs!